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101 Ways To Kill Your Teachers
*don’t try this at home*
*try it at a friends house or at school*



1. Poison their coffee/tea

2. Ask them to help you, when they bend over, stab them

3. When they are on duty ‘accidentally’ throw a rock at their head

4. Shoot them

5. Hide at the back of the classroom and shoot them

6. Poison their apple/lunch

7. Shoot them with a poisonous dart

8. Put a length of wire on the door when their about to walk in

9. Put a guillotine on their office door

10. Do a project on the guillotine and ask the teacher to help demonstrate how it works

11. Push them out of a window at the top H or M block

12. In science ’accidently’ spill deadly poison on them

13. In science ’accidently’ set them on fire

14. In Society and History make a model catapult and practice aiming

15. Practice archery in class

16. Practice your new circus act “knife throwing” and ask for a volunteer

17. In PE - Baseball

18. Accidently stab them in the eye with a pen when asking for help

19. Be good - it will give them a heart attack


20. Place a bomb in their office and claim it as science homework

21. Take the brakes out of their car

22. “Fix” the light switch so when flicked they get electrocuted

23. Shove them in canteen oven - on high

24. Drop something heavy out the window as they walk past

25. Stab them in the back - literally

26. Drown them in Mr. Stranger’s fish tank

27. Push them down the hill

28. Lock them in the library and let them starve - no matter how many A+’s they offer

29. Hypodermic needle - like bee sting

30. Ask for bus money - then shove it down their throat

31. Sing in your worst voice until they shoot themselves

32. Ask so many questions that they commit suicide

33. Ask for after school help...

34. When alone creep up behind them and strangle them

35. Follow them home...

36. Fry their brains with today’s rap music

37. Go on an excursion - somewhere with water

38. In PE - Javelin throwing

39. Feed them chocolate until they pop!

40. Play air guitar and hit/fall back into them

41. In music bash them over the head with a sax

42. Set the mafia on them

43. When alone lock the door...

44. Make them read a Frerard...

45. Put a retractable spike in their chair

46. Put a letter bomb in the class roll

47. Push them down the H block stairs

48. Trip them - make sure they land on a brick

49. Push them in front of a bus

50. In Design in wood... Use the sharp objects

51. Scream rape in class - rot in prison

52. Do a project on the hangman's noose and ask the teacher to help demonstrate and ’accidently’ let them drop

53. Become a vampire

54. Hire a hit man

55. Give them AIDS

56. On their birthday give them a box...

57. Place a bomb to go off when they start their car

58. Follow them home and film - place on YouTube - die of embarrassment

59. Bring your poisonous pet spider to school

60. Lock them in a room and set fire to it

61. Run them over

62. Contact a terrorist

63. Set the emo’s on them

64. Tell them your deep dark secret

65. On camp while chopping fire wood...

66. Creep up behind them and snap their neck

67. Scream out they have chocolate or coffee to share - watch the kids trample them

68. Excursion to the zoo - feed teacher to lions

69. Paralyse them and lock them in the school

70. Ask them out repeatedly

71. Bring hair straightener to school - burn or strangle

72. Help them fix the roof...

73. Hang an axe over the door

74. In robotics' program the robot to take over the world

75. “Fix” computer to blow up when logged on

76. In drama ask for a volunteer for death scenes

77. In cooking ask for help chopping...

78. Give them a bunch of poisonous flowers

79. Crucify them for the school play

80. Set off deadly gasses in science

81. Tie them up and put them in their car’s boot

82. Make them do PE

83. lock them in a room with the school chaplain

84. Knee cap them then when their down...

85. Blow up their house

86. Visit the science store room...

87. Make the lights fall on their head

88. Stab them in the neck with a compass

89. In PE - shot put aiming

90. Hit them in the back with a chair

91. In sewing shove knitting needles in their ears

92. In sewing there are a lot of very handy pins...

93. Suffocate them

94. Tape a plastic bag over their head

95. Learn hypnosis...

96. Challenge them to a fight to the death

97. On camp find a handy cliff...

98. Shove them in the freezer

99. Slam their head against a wall

100. Impale on flag pole

101. Smash their head into a computer
well.............
ummmmm
I wrote this in maths class
ummmm
hope you like it
catastrophe
Add a Comment:
 
:iconmjmstudios2020:
MJMSTUDIOS2020 Featured By Owner 4 days ago
"A viewer who looked up this list has killed 12 teachers in one day in broad daylight. "-sin counted...
Reply
:iconcatheartstripe:
catheartstripe Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2015  Student General Artist
i love this so much
Reply
:iconutaleasha:
Utaleasha Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2014  Student General Artist
ok i thought u were one of the kids who come into innocent schools and shoot everyone so i was going to make a nasty comment but then i realized that this is just u being funny not being seriose (sighs of relief) 
Reply
:iconbrooklynn620:
brooklynn620 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Awesome! I was looking for something like this since we are writing a script about killing our teacher in my French class :D Thanks!
Reply
:iconjomoku:
Jomoku Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Number one way to ignore your teacher.

Stop focusing on their face and their body.

And listen to what they are teaching.

just my advice. Everyone laughs at this stuff its true.

But i can honestly say, if you cant focus on the content of what they are teaching
and succeed in your own study. 
What are you doing with your life.

if they are that bad, switch classes or get serious, there are online courses, and the infinite internet.

food for thought. 
Reply
:iconthat1personyouforgot:
That1PersonYouForgot Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Haha, this is funny, but some of the I think will only work if everyone did it- for instance, asking so many questions until they committ suicide :)
Reply
:iconkillthezambies:
killthezambies Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2014
haha this was awesome homework frustration medication
Reply
:iconchooky2103:
Chooky2103 Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2014
Nice! I have a teacher I hate. And I mean REALLY hate. And this is just the thing. Not to kill her or anything, just to cheer me up. You leave so much of it to the immagination. I LOVE IT!!!! :)
Reply
:icondaveshipper:
daveshipper Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Sulfuric acid never hurt anyone before...can't wait for chemistry.
Reply
:iconzelquekarp:
Zelquekarp Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2013
MR. HANK WILL DIE NOW
Reply
:iconxxxxgh0stxxxx:
xxXXGH0STXXxx Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Dumb ways to die! so many dumb ways to die. lol
Reply
:iconangelbooklover:
angelbooklover Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2013  Student General Artist
lol haha i love that song and the clip
Reply
:iconcreepatron123:
creepatron123 Featured By Owner May 17, 2013
ms.c here i come
Reply
:iconfireptile:
FiReptile Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2012
This is good advice for revenge!!!!!!!!!
Reply
:iconblackheartedfoxx:
blackheartedfoxx Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2011
me and my friend REALLY hate our first per teacher, and we found this and laughed so hard! We must say you are awsome!! <3 so we are going to make a cartoon comic type thing of all "101 ways to kill your teacher" with our teacher :D :) <3 cant wait to start! thanks for the inspiration!
Reply
:iconcatastrophefire13:
CatastropheFIRE13 Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2011
thats soo cool. good luck
alot of them relate to my school so you'd hve to change them to suit yours
Reply
:iconharshmello:
HarshMello Featured By Owner May 20, 2011
JESUUUUUSSSZZZZZZZZZZ if only...
Reply
:iconcatastrophefire13:
CatastropheFIRE13 Featured By Owner May 21, 2011
so many things so little time.....?
Reply
:iconyuhuhu:
yuhuhu Featured By Owner May 4, 2011
u just made my day :rofl:
Reply
:iconcatastrophefire13:
CatastropheFIRE13 Featured By Owner May 5, 2011
thank you xoxo glad you liked it
Reply
:iconcntspllbasswthoutass:
cntspllbasswthoutass Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2010
Make them read a Frerard... MY GOD! That's pure GOLD!
Reply
:iconcatastrophefire13:
CatastropheFIRE13 Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2010
thank you
Reply
:iconaeya112:
Aeya112 Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2009
BRILLIANT! :XD:
83 made me laugh hysterically!

Claire, for this, I'm afraid I'm going to have to marry you :P
Reply
:iconcatastrophefire13:
CatastropheFIRE13 Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2009
noooo....
i mean
are you sure?
glad you like it
Reply
:iconaeya112:
Aeya112 Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2009
I'm very sure :P
Reply
:iconxxfeed-l-cakexx:
xXFeed-L-CakeXx Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2009
I bags killing Mr Shea!!
Reply
:iconcatastrophefire13:
CatastropheFIRE13 Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2009
ok
Reply
:iconxxfeed-l-cakexx:
xXFeed-L-CakeXx Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2009
Yay!!
Reply
:icongingerchesh:
gingerchesh Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2009  Student General Artist
lol. you wrote them ALL UP!
Reply
:iconcatastrophefire13:
CatastropheFIRE13 Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2009
well tenicaly emma did
Reply
:iconblackfriday13:
BlackFriday13 Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2009
w00t. heh heh =D i totaly agree with 53
but erm... 55. Give them AIDS
i wouldnt want to do that =P
Reply
:iconcatastrophefire13:
CatastropheFIRE13 Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2009
u think i would
ewwwww
Reply
:iconblackfriday13:
BlackFriday13 Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2009
yer. -shudder-
Reply
:iconchehiro7:
Chehiro7 Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2009
Genius. =D
Reply
:iconcatastrophefire13:
CatastropheFIRE13 Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2009
thank you
i just typed it up
how sad
Reply
:iconchehiro7:
Chehiro7 Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2009
-giggles maniacally-
I quite think we should experiment with... ALL of them.
Reply
:iconcatastrophefire13:
CatastropheFIRE13 Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2009
sooo in agreement
Reply
:iconchehiro7:
Chehiro7 Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2009
Hmm... well we could always use them all on Ms Ludeke...
Reply
:iconcatastrophefire13:
CatastropheFIRE13 Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2009
tempting
Reply
:iconchehiro7:
Chehiro7 Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2009
Oh so very tempting... -_-
Reply
:iconcatastrophefire13:
CatastropheFIRE13 Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2009
in agreement
Reply
:iconcatastrophefire13:
CatastropheFIRE13 Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2009
thank you
just got it typed up
hehehehe
cough cough
Reply
:iconeternalfallacy:
EternalFallacy Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
Is this Literature?
Reply
:iconcatastrophefire13:
CatastropheFIRE13 Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2009
not sure
but what else could i put it under?
Reply
:iconeternalfallacy:
EternalFallacy Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
I mean deviantART is an ART site.
Reply
:iconcatastrophefire13:
CatastropheFIRE13 Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2009
do you know how much writing this site....
besides writings an art
so poety
Reply
:iconeternalfallacy:
EternalFallacy Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
What do you mean?
Reply
:iconcatastrophefire13:
CatastropheFIRE13 Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2009
oh never mind, i dont think i understood you , and then it got confusing
Reply
:iconeternalfallacy:
EternalFallacy Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
I mean, you should change the category of this piece to deviantart related -> devious fun, because for me it's not a piece that represents literature.
Reply
:icondorian-james-fox:
Dorian-James-Fox Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2009
Haha, number 2 really made me laugh!

"set the emos on them"... lol, what will they do them?! ^^
Reply
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