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Submitted on
June 24, 2009
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101 Ways To Kill Your Teachers
*don’t try this at home*
*try it at a friends house or at school*

1. Poison their coffee/tea

2. Ask them to help you, when they bend over, stab them

3. When they are on duty ‘accidentally’ throw a rock at their head

4. Shoot them

5. Hide at the back of the classroom and shoot them

6. Poison their apple/lunch

7. Shoot them with a poisonous dart

8. Put a length of wire on the door when their about to walk in

9. Put a guillotine on their office door

10. Do a project on the guillotine and ask the teacher to help demonstrate how it works

11. Push them out of a window at the top H or M block

12. In science ’accidently’ spill deadly poison on them

13. In science ’accidently’ set them on fire

14. In Society and History make a model catapult and practice aiming

15. Practice archery in class

16. Practice your new circus act “knife throwing” and ask for a volunteer

17. In PE - Baseball

18. Accidently stab them in the eye with a pen when asking for help

19. Be good - it will give them a heart attack

20. Place a bomb in their office and claim it as science homework

21. Take the brakes out of their car

22. “Fix” the light switch so when flicked they get electrocuted

23. Shove them in canteen oven - on high

24. Drop something heavy out the window as they walk past

25. Stab them in the back - literally

26. Drown them in Mr. Stranger’s fish tank

27. Push them down the hill

28. Lock them in the library and let them starve - no matter how many A+’s they offer

29. Hypodermic needle - like bee sting

30. Ask for bus money - then shove it down their throat

31. Sing in your worst voice until they shoot themselves

32. Ask so many questions that they commit suicide

33. Ask for after school help...

34. When alone creep up behind them and strangle them

35. Follow them home...

36. Fry their brains with today’s rap music

37. Go on an excursion - somewhere with water

38. In PE - Javelin throwing

39. Feed them chocolate until they pop!

40. Play air guitar and hit/fall back into them

41. In music bash them over the head with a sax

42. Set the mafia on them

43. When alone lock the door...

44. Make them read a Frerard...

45. Put a retractable spike in their chair

46. Put a letter bomb in the class roll

47. Push them down the H block stairs

48. Trip them - make sure they land on a brick

49. Push them in front of a bus

50. In Design in wood... Use the sharp objects

51. Scream rape in class - rot in prison

52. Do a project on the hangman's noose and ask the teacher to help demonstrate and ’accidently’ let them drop

53. Become a vampire

54. Hire a hit man

55. Give them AIDS

56. On their birthday give them a box...

57. Place a bomb to go off when they start their car

58. Follow them home and film - place on YouTube - die of embarrassment

59. Bring your poisonous pet spider to school

60. Lock them in a room and set fire to it

61. Run them over

62. Contact a terrorist

63. Set the emo’s on them

64. Tell them your deep dark secret

65. On camp while chopping fire wood...

66. Creep up behind them and snap their neck

67. Scream out they have chocolate or coffee to share - watch the kids trample them

68. Excursion to the zoo - feed teacher to lions

69. Paralyse them and lock them in the school

70. Ask them out repeatedly

71. Bring hair straightener to school - burn or strangle

72. Help them fix the roof...

73. Hang an axe over the door

74. In robotics' program the robot to take over the world

75. “Fix” computer to blow up when logged on

76. In drama ask for a volunteer for death scenes

77. In cooking ask for help chopping...

78. Give them a bunch of poisonous flowers

79. Crucify them for the school play

80. Set off deadly gasses in science

81. Tie them up and put them in their car’s boot

82. Make them do PE

83. lock them in a room with the school chaplain

84. Knee cap them then when their down...

85. Blow up their house

86. Visit the science store room...

87. Make the lights fall on their head

88. Stab them in the neck with a compass

89. In PE - shot put aiming

90. Hit them in the back with a chair

91. In sewing shove knitting needles in their ears

92. In sewing there are a lot of very handy pins...

93. Suffocate them

94. Tape a plastic bag over their head

95. Learn hypnosis...

96. Challenge them to a fight to the death

97. On camp find a handy cliff...

98. Shove them in the freezer

99. Slam their head against a wall

100. Impale on flag pole

101. Smash their head into a computer
I wrote this in maths class
hope you like it
Add a Comment:
Utaleasha Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2014  Student General Artist
ok i thought u were one of the kids who come into innocent schools and shoot everyone so i was going to make a nasty comment but then i realized that this is just u being funny not being seriose (sighs of relief) 
brooklynn620 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Awesome! I was looking for something like this since we are writing a script about killing our teacher in my French class :D Thanks!
Jomoku Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Number one way to ignore your teacher.

Stop focusing on their face and their body.

And listen to what they are teaching.

just my advice. Everyone laughs at this stuff its true.

But i can honestly say, if you cant focus on the content of what they are teaching
and succeed in your own study. 
What are you doing with your life.

if they are that bad, switch classes or get serious, there are online courses, and the infinite internet.

food for thought. 
That1PersonYouForgot Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Haha, this is funny, but some of the I think will only work if everyone did it- for instance, asking so many questions until they committ suicide :)
killthezambies Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2014
haha this was awesome homework frustration medication
Chooky2103 Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2014
Nice! I have a teacher I hate. And I mean REALLY hate. And this is just the thing. Not to kill her or anything, just to cheer me up. You leave so much of it to the immagination. I LOVE IT!!!! :)
daveshipper Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Sulfuric acid never hurt anyone before...can't wait for chemistry.
Zelquekarp Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2013
GrindViciousX Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Dumb ways to die! so many dumb ways to die. lol
angelbooklover Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2013  Student General Artist
lol haha i love that song and the clip
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